I fell in love with a man named Dangerfield

I'm huddled in bed with my MacBook which I'd claimed as the love of my life long ago only to find that I must replace it with someone else.

Taking a break from my studies in France (lol that does sound ever so serious doesn't it?) and I'm now staying with my aunt (S) and her husband(C)in Dallas, TX...otherwise known as the most boring place in the world.
For one thing it's over a 105 degrees outside! I'm known as the ice queen, the girl who takes winter in France without gloves or a scarf. 105 degrees... you could roast chicken in these temperatures.

Secondly, why is it that you need a car in most American cities? Why couldn't my aunt live in NY where you can find an abundance of taxies. If the situation is dire one can always count on the subway. Of course my friend Anastasia (a very interesting girl...I'll get to her later) has warned me of the dangers...the mice...the filth...the scary people who might threaten an innocent looking private school girl like her! The horror.

And thirdly have you ever been groped by a middle aged uncle named C? Well that happened to me today. You see all these strangely scary looking men on Oprah...touching family members...that whole thing but you never expect it to happen to YOU do you? Do you?
What happens when you can't tell anyone? Well you'll find out abouts my sexual harassment case should you keep reading my future posts.

But for now...I want to speak of more beautiful things...such as love! Ah love. Here's a list of my top guys...they change from time to time but most of them stay on my list. Let's have a countdown shall we?

10-Merilyn Manson. Okay. Okay. Hear me out here. Don't run away...I'm not even a huge fan of his. I have a couple of songs on my iPod...no crazy fan stuff. Usually I like my men with a bit more...what is the word? Class? Substance? Discretion?
Anyway...I look at him and I realize that there is something unmistakably sexy about a wild man with a lot of makeup. I dunno...

9- Clive Owen...nice hands do it for me. He has VERY nice hands. I love him in Closer (a movie with Natalie Portman, Jude Law and Julia Roberts...very sexy) and even in King Arthur. Violence is hot...no matter what your parents told you

8- Micheal Cane. He was the butler in Batman, the mad scientist in Quills (excellent movie...watch it if you haven't already) and by god he's sexy. I don't care that he could be my grandfather. And so could Peter O'Toole but if you've seen How To Steal a Million you won't argue over how sexy he is. I'm not going to marry them for god's sake! Isn't one allowed to look at men like Harrison Ford, Micheal Cane, Dustin Hoffman, Micheal Cane and even Geoffrey Rush (he was the marquis in Quills-which seems to come up often- and Captain Barbossa in the Pirates movies) and wish that they'd been born a decade(or two...or three) sooner?

7-Jouaquin Pheonix. And I'm talking before Walk the Line...
Yet AGAIN. I have to bring up Quills(come one...go rent it) and if you see his chest in that movie...I promise. You'll agree.

6-Tim Burton...ah the genius!! There is a certain charm to his looks and yet it doesn't matter. The man is so quirky and funny and talented that I'd marry him in a heartbeat. Of course...the chances of that happening are the same as me getting that private island in the Bahamas I've had my eyes on but...one can always dream?

5- Humphrey Bogart. What is this obsession I have for men who are too old for me? So old that they're deceased! Man...he's just so great and adorable in every role he played. Say we'll always have Paris and I'm yours...

4- Chris Noth aka Mr. Big from Sex and the City...come one! He's delicious. He's classic. He's rich and he's Carrie's love interest, who is the closest on screen replica of me. Now if I could only meet my Mr. Big sooner so he could take me for a ride in his limo...

3- Barack Obama, this one is sinful really but this man has so much charisma that you'd be full not to think he's adorable. McCain is the one guy who didn't make my 'I love men who are too old for me' list. America, vote for someone who is pleasant to listen to and look at so I don't have to turn off my TV every time the president speaks. lol all jokes aside...he's a wonderful politician and THAT is why I love him.

2-Heath Ledger. I fell in love with the joker. That very second he made the pen 'disappear' in The Dark Knight...I thought it was funnier than it actually was. And then I watched Brokeback Mountain and Casanova both of which I already owned.
I fell in love with him only after he passed away. He's an amazing actor and one of the only two men I know who can make that black eyeliner work to their advantage...which bring me to...

1-Johnny Depp...this man can rip his own nose off and I'll still think he's amazing. I actually didn't think he was physically attractive for the longest time. Everyone fainted at the mention of the name and I sat there rolling my eyes, repeating over and over that he was my favorite actor but that he wasn't handsome at all. He grew on me with his haunting eyes and high cheekbones and soon I realized how wrong I'd been. Now I can't help but compare people to him. I have high standards :D I love him on and off screen.
If I have to listen to C telling me what an ugly SOB he is one more time. I will flip out! As if feeling me up wasn't enough already, he has to insult my love as well.

Why did I ramble on about all these gorgeous men? Well I'm reading Donleavy's 'The Ginger Man' and I fell in love with a man name Dangerfield! His name alone is worth a hunk of love isn't it? Read it if you haven't...Sebastian Dangerfield might beat every man on that list. He's the kind of man that if someone made a movie out of the book female audiences would have posters of him on the wall.

As for my 'groping story'? I need a whole other blog for that. Plus. I need your advice...how does one handle these situations with grace?